How to build a village when you don’t have one
- Judith Mendiolea Lelo de Larrea
- Apr 20
- 6 min read
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but many parents don't have villages behind them today - but there are supports out there
Originally published by The Telegram Dec 18, 2025
On a weekday morning in Atlantic Canada, a parent walks into a family resource hub carrying a diaper bag and a toddler, unsure if they’re in the right place, insecure about what they’re asking for, but certain they can’t do this alone anymore.
We hear it all the time: it takes a village to raise a child.
But for many families today, that village doesn’t exist, at least not in the way the phrase implies.
Parents are raising children far from extended family, newcomers are navigating unfamiliar systems, and even long-time residents can find themselves isolated by rising costs, long work hours and shrinking social circles.
So where do you begin when you’re raising a child, or supporting a young person, without a built-in support network?
Across Atlantic Canada, community leaders say the answer is no longer about finding a village, but building one intentionally.
Starting with parents
At Nova Village in Halifax, executive director Natalie Brown sees families walk through the door every day looking for connection as much as help.
“Not everyone has that family support system,” Brown said. “It’s a very Western philosophy to assume there’s a nuclear family behind everyone. For many families, that just isn’t the reality.”
Nova Village operates as a family hub, offering parenting programs, counselling, mental health support, navigation services and peer groups, all under one roof.
This kind of community-based support has become increasingly important since the pandemic, Brown said.
According to peer-reviewed studies published in Frontiers in Psychology, parents reported significantly higher stress levels following COVID-19, with researchers linking increased parental stress to higher risks of anxiety and mental health challenges for children.
The studies also found that families under sustained stress have less capacity to build informal support networks on their own.
“When you’re worrying about groceries or housing, building a support network can fall to the bottom of the list,” Brown said. “But isolation is a key determinant of health. It affects both mental and physical well-being.”
About half of the families accessing Nova Village are newcomers to Canada, many separated from extended family and navigating language barriers alongside the everyday challenges of parenting.
Federal data from Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada show that while settlement services are available, awareness and early access are uneven.
IRCC’s 2023 Settlement Outcomes Report found a significant share of newcomers are unaware of, or do not access, federally funded settlement services in their first year, a period experts say is critical for building social connections.
“Families aren’t going from one place to another accessing services,” Brown said. “They’re community-based, low barrier and accessible.”
Removing barriers
Making community accessible requires more than goodwill, Brown said. It means actively removing the obstacles that prevent families from showing up in the first place.
Transportation, child care and language are among the most common barriers. Nova Village provides bus tickets or taxis, on-site child care, translation services and meals, not as extras, but as essentials.
“When families are already stretched thin, even small barriers can stop them from coming,” Brown said. “If you want families to connect, you have to meet them where they are.”
The goal, she added, isn’t just to deliver programs, but to create lasting relationships.
“We have parents coming back 20 years later with their adult children saying, ‘We’re still friends to this day. I don’t know what I would have done without that support system,’” she said.
Extending the village to youth
Building a village doesn’t stop with parents.
In Fredericton, Willa Matthews, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters, focuses on what happens when young people don’t have consistent adult support, and what can change when they do.
“As generations have grown, it’s become harder to find that village naturally,” Matthews said. “So now we’re trying to get back to basics and create it intentionally.”
Through one-on-one mentoring, in-school programs and group initiatives, Big Brothers Big Sisters pairs youth with stable adult mentors all around Canada, relationships Matthews said can be life-changing.
“That healthy relationship between an adult and a child makes a huge difference,” she said.
The importance of consistent adult support is well documented. Research published in journals such as Children and Youth Services Review and Social Science & Medicine found children who grow up without stable paternal or adult figures face higher risks of behavioural, educational and mental health challenges. The same research found mentoring relationships and strong community support can significantly reduce those risks.
Supporting the whole family
Matthews said mentoring youth also means supporting parents and caregivers whenever possible.
“Supporting the parent is going to help the child,” she said. “If we know something will help that youth, we’ll do everything we can within our bounds.”
That support can include helping families navigate services, access food programs or simply feel less alone.
“We see a lot of people who are alone without community,” Matthews said. “We want them to know: you have us as your community.”
The need for connection among young people has also intensified. Public Health Agency of Canada data show persistent levels of loneliness among youth, particularly those facing economic or social vulnerability, with isolation linked to anxiety, depression and poorer long-term outcomes.
Mentoring works because it offers consistency, something many youth lack, Matthews said.
“It’s not about fixing someone,” she said. “It’s about showing up and staying.”
Despite the growing need, many organizations are struggling with capacity.
Big Brothers Big Sisters currently has dozens of children waiting to be matched with a mentor, not because of a lack of need, but because of a shortage of volunteers.
“One kid on a waiting list is too many,” Matthews said.
The challenge is widespread. Statistics Canada data shows that while many Canadians still volunteer, total volunteer hours have declined significantly since before the pandemic, putting strain on community-based programs across the country.
Building before crisis
Both Brown and Matthews said building villages isn’t just about kindness, it’s about prevention.
Brown also pointed to broader structural pressures. Statistics Canada reports roughly four in 10 Canadians provided unpaid care to children or care-dependent adults in the past year, a level of responsibility that leaves many households with less time and capacity to serve as informal support systems for others.
“When you invest early, in parents, in kids, in relationships, it costs less down the road,” she said. “And communities are stronger for it.”
Matthews agreed, describing mentoring as a way to interrupt cycles of isolation, poverty and disengagement before they harden.
“We want to break those cycles,” she said. “And relationships are a big part of how you do that.”
How to build your own village
For families wondering where to begin, both organizations offer the same advice: start small, start local and don’t wait until you’re in crisis.
That might mean:
Visiting a family resource centre
Joining a parenting or peer-support group
Volunteering or mentoring with a youth organization
Attending a community drop-in or event
“It also opens kids up to different experiences and different walks of life,” Matthews said.
“It’s about being a good person and giving back to your community. Even when people are busy, taking the time to contribute… is a skill we want youth to learn, because they’re more likely to do that in adulthood as well.”
Ultimately, the village is built both with and for kids and caregivers.
“Being a parent doesn’t come with a manual, and sometimes you don’t get that information,” Brown said. “Everybody needs a support network.”
“I think if you just make the decision to come through the door, you’ll definitely be coming back,” she said. “A lot of people feel like, you know, this feels like home.”
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