'After he was a month old, everybody disappeared': New moms explain the kind of help they really need
- Judith Mendiolea Lelo de Larrea
- Nov 4, 2025
- 6 min read
Being a new mom can be isolating and lonely, but there are things people can do to help
(Story originally published by Postmedia Network - Oct 31, 2025)
When Megan Mulrooney had her daughter, Evangeline, she expected the whirlwind of sleepless nights and diaper changes. What she didn’t expect was how quickly her social world would vanish.
The 28-year-old and her husband had moved to P.E.I. from Newfoundland and Labrador in 2021. Knowing their family was far away, they worked hard to create what she called a “really well-knit community.” One that, at the time of birth, was there for them, calling, texting and checking in.
But after the first week, everything changed.
“I used to say, why are we going ghost? Why are we going ghost?” she said. “They would tell me they just wanted to give me peace, give me room to adjust to being a mom. I was like, okay, you think this happens in a month? Sorry, no, this is a lifetime of learning.”
Mulrooney’s experience isn’t unique.
New mothers across P.E.I. described the same pattern: visitors and gifts pour in during the first few weeks, and then, suddenly, the house falls silent. For many, that’s when the loneliness and overwhelm set in.
Everybody disappeared
The first weeks after birth can be isolating, physically demanding and emotionally heavy. Across Canada, between 23 and 25 per cent of mothers experience postpartum depression or anxiety symptoms within a year after giving birth, according to Statistics Canada. The Public Health Agency of Canada calls the postpartum period a “critical window” for family well-being, one that is often overlooked once the baby arrives.
Keisha Clements remembers the same shift after her son, Benjamin, was born last year.
“That first month, everybody was all about the baby. And then after he was a month old, everybody disappeared,” she said. “That shift was the hardest for me. I needed somebody to talk to me and not ask about my kids and not need something from me.”
Clements, a former nanny who had worked with more than 80 children, knew how to care for infants. But she hadn’t expected how much she’d need adult conversation.
“I'm still a person,” she said. “I just needed somebody to talk to me.”
Recent Canadian maternity and newborn care guidance from the Public Health Agency recommends postnatal assessments that check physical, psychological and social needs at multiple points after birth, not just a single six-week visit. But many parents say that kind of ongoing contact rarely happens.
Knowing that struggle firsthand, Mulrooney began encouraging other new mothers to meet up for walks during the summer. By July 2025, she had organized a weekly mom’s walking group that meets every Thursday at 10 a.m.
Soon enough, Clements, Mulrooney and several others found what they had been longing for: a community that could support them through the long days and quiet hours of early motherhood.
Bring soup, not onesies
For Claudia Cotici, a member of the walking group who gave birth to her son, Clark, after years of infertility treatments, the most meaningful support came in the form of food and time.
“They bring you clothes and things for the baby, which is fair, but nobody really thinks about the mother,” she said. “I would much rather people bring you a bowl of soup or something.”
Cotici, who hired a postpartum doula, said that help with cooking, cleaning and breastfeeding kept her from spiralling into depression.
“If you can afford a doula, just hire a doula,” she said. “Especially if you don’t have family here.”
As an immigrant from Romania without relatives nearby, Cotici said the walking group became a lifeline.
“We go to each other’s houses, and one of us stays with the babies while the others do some cleaning or whatever. We support each other that way,” she said. “Get out and meet other moms. It will help with your mental health because you’re going to go crazy indoors.”
Clean, fold, or hold the baby
Practical help often speaks louder than words.
Lacey-Marie Duffney, a mother of three, said her walking group turned into a rotating care circle.
“Sometimes one of us will watch the babies and one of the girls will help clean,” she said. “That way we’re not constantly leaving our house and having things build up and making it more stressful.”
Duffney found what she calls a “trust circle”, women she could rely on for help and honesty.
“They mentally and emotionally support you because you’re getting out. You can vent with each other.”
Like many mothers, Duffney struggles to take time for herself.
“I haven’t done anything for me in almost seven years,” she said. “The last time I had a bath, I ended up with a four-year-old in my tub.”
When friends encourage her to use a spa gift certificate, she hesitates.
“Sometimes I need the encouragement, and that’s what they’re there for.”
She believes good help is about presence, not perfection.
“Safe space is the biggest thing and knowing that you’re not going to be judged,” she said. “If you hand me some pamphlets or a list of contacts for information, that’s great. But wipes, you can never go wrong with wipes.”
Think long term, not just the first few weeks
Mulrooney said that practical, ongoing help matters most, whether that’s passing along baby clothes or simply showing up.
“If by chance you have friends who also have children and might be willing to donate you some items, accept the help. That is the number one prerogative.”
She advised new parents to skip perfection and think ahead.
“Accept secondhand things,” she said. “If you spend all your money buying new items, eight chances out of ten, your baby's not even going to like the items that you buy. If you have an aesthetic, that's fine. But at the end of the day, your baby doesn't care, it’s you.”
When it comes to gifts, she suggested planning for what comes next.
“They grow up so fast. Always pick out clothes a couple of months ahead, if there's a newborn, get clothes for three to six months or six to nine months, because everyone gives newborns or zero to threes.”
What’s already in place
Across Atlantic Canada, several community programs are designed to support new families, though awareness remains uneven.
On Prince Edward Island, the Best Start Program, delivered through CHANCES Family Centre, offers free home visits for families with children up to age three. Public-health nurses connect new parents with lactation consultants, early-childhood educators and other supports. Mothers can also access essentials through nonprofits like The Island Pregnancy Centre, which provides baby clothes, diapers and counselling.
In New Brunswick, Healthy Families, Healthy Babies programs include free home visits from public-health nurses for new and expectant parents, offering information and referrals.
Nova Scotia’s Public Health Parenting Supports extend from pregnancy into early childhood and follow the Rourke Baby Record and Healthy Babies, Healthy Families guidelines, practical frameworks for both clinical visits and at-home care.
The Canada Prenatal Nutrition Program (CPNP) funds many of the region’s family resource centres, offering postpartum classes, food vouchers and peer-support groups. And nationally, the Public Health Agency of Canada released Your Guide to Postpartum Health and Caring for Your Baby in 2023, outlining physical recovery and mental-health resources for parents.
Still, mothers said these services can be difficult to navigate once they’re home.
From exhaustion to advocacy
Mulrooney turned her own experience into community action. What began as a few summer walks became the P.E.I. Parameters Walking Group, now meeting weekly at Victoria Park.
The walks are open to mothers and babies of all ages. They support each other through feeding struggles, sleep deprivation, childcare and the realities of motherhood that often go unspoken.
Mulrooney also has been documenting her journey on her Substack blog, Mommy May I, which she described as “a biography of what I’m going through as a mother and what I've heard other mothers share with me.”
“I know there are other parents who are probably experiencing it and just too afraid to reach out about it,” she said. “Talking about postpartum depression is such a big taboo. It's kind of wild, but every mom goes through it.”
Her hope is that by writing about it, other parents might feel less alone.
“They can read about it and maybe even ask me questions,” she said. “I’m more than open for people to be sending me emails or DMs. I’ve done so much research, it’s disgusting,” she added.
“I’m not a licensed nurse or a registered specialist by any means, but if other parents are questioning these things or scared or too embarrassed to ask a nurse, then I can be the person they can ask. I just want to be a voice in the trench, I guess.”
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